Not that she’d confess that to anyone but her sister. It was their little secret, and she planned to keep it that way. She didn’t understand why Opal didn’t hate it too. They both had such a good reason for it. There was no way she’d ever let her boys know she didn’t like the holiday they adored. Though they were thirteen and growing so quickly into young men, she didn’t want to take the spirit of Christmas away. That wouldn’t be fair to them. Not that they believed in Santa Claus anymore. That ended when they were nine. But they still loved everything that Christmas entailed. The thought of Santa, the goodies, the decorations, the cheer, the presents, of course.

“You’re also cheating. You’re not supposed to buy cookies,” Opal continued in the bossy way she’d perfected since their childhood. Being the older sister, she was way too good at it. Serenity never could get her to stop or fight back.

Serenity stuck out her tongue as she drew another frosted sugar cookie out of the container and onto a plate painted with elves. Her boys wouldn’t find it odd she hadn’t made any cookies. It was for the best that she didn’t. She and baking did not get along—at all. She’d burned more cookies in her life than she cared to remember.

“My boys love the treats from Lynn’s bakery. It’s not cheating when I’m buying them the best.”

Opal pursed her lips, her eyes crinkled as if contemplating arguing with that statement, then nodded and smiled. “I can’t argue with that. She has magic in her hands.” Then Opal snatched a cookie and chomped into it with vigor.

“So, dickface call yet?”

Serenity didn’t hide the disgusting tremble that coated her body at the thought of even talking to Eric, the boys’ father.

“No, do you honestly think he will?”

Because she was wise enough to know that Eric, though he claimed to be the best father in the world, was fooling no one. Not even the boys. Eric had let them down so many times, they hardly asked about their father anymore. It was sad more than anything. Of course, she didn’t want to be the parent that didn’t make an effort, the one who would look like the bad person, even when she wasn’t anywhere close to that. She reached out to Eric more than he deserved. Every time, he said he’d be there, and every time, he failed on his promises.

“Christmas is in a few weeks.”

As if Serenity needed reminding. She hadn’t started shopping for Christmas presents—for anyone. The boys were the most important. Yet she didn’t even want to think about going into the crazy, busy stores and buying things they’d play with for a week and then forget about. Though they were getting older and not into toys much. They were glued to their gaming station more often than not, or outside playing some kind of sport. She couldn’t complain about that. She adored that they loved being outdoors and not attached to an electronic device, like their cell phones.

“If Eric doesn’t care about that, why should I?”

“I agree, but we both know you’ll end up calling him anyway and trying for those boys.”

That was the truth. She tried so hard for them, and Eric never showed an ounce of care. Some days, she wished he never existed in their lives at all.

Opal finished her cookie, swiping her hands clean of the crumbs. “So why do we hate Christmas today?”

As if she needed a new reason every day. But her sister knew her so well. Only two years apart, they were as close as two sisters could be. Almost as if they had been twins, like her boys were. Sometimes, people even said they looked alike, asking if they were indeed twins. Serenity always took it as a compliment. Opal always had the look of murder on her face, though she could never figure out why, and she never bothered to ask. Some things were better not knowing.

“Royce reminded me this morning that the second annual snowman building contest is next weekend in Mulberry. Remember, they won last year. I am not looking forward to doing it again. I’m pretty sure I hurt my back last year and can still feel the kink I twisted in my lower back. Being on my hands and knees for so long sucks.”

“But you know you’ll sign up and rock that shit like you always do.”

Serenity closed the empty plastic container and set it on the counter behind her to put in the recycling bin later. The plate looked pretty as she headed out of the kitchen to the dining room and set the beautifully decorated sugar cookies in the middle of the table. When the boys got home from school, delicious treats would be waiting for them. After they finished their homework, of course.

“Why don’t you join our team this year?”

Opal, who had followed her into the room, laughed so hard, Serenity knew the answer before she even spoke.

“I’m not freezing my ass off to build a snowman. You know me better than that.”

Oh, she did. Serenity could handle the cold. She was forced to be outside more times than she cared to because the boys loved sledding and started snowboarding last year. No matter how many times she tried to talk her sister into joining the fun, she always found an excuse to get out of it.

“Why not ask Cam? I’m sure he’d jump at the chance.”

No, that would be a bad idea.

“I’m sure he’s busy.”

“That man would jump off a bridge for you.”

She smiled, hoping she could hide the terror of the thought from her sister, but knew she failed. She walked away to the kitchen, though she knew that didn’t mean the conversation was over.

“You invited him to the family Christmas party, right?”

Serenity turned on the hot water, flicking her fingers under the liquid until she found the right temperature, then plugged the sink. After adding dish soap, she swished the water to create suds. She didn’t have to hand-wash the dishes because they had a dishwasher. But she needed something to occupy her mind while her sister continued to get on her nerves. This was not a subject she wanted to breach. She’d preferred talking about the dreaded holiday coming up, and she hated it with a passion. So that said enough.

“We’re friends. I’m not inviting him to the party. Everyone in the family will think we’re more than friends.”

“You could be more than friends.”

No. No, she couldn’t. Because it would ruin everything between them. They had to remain friends, no matter what.

She’d met Cam last year around Christmastime. The first time had been a random meeting. He stopped her on the sidewalk when she had been leaving the floral shop, picking up some poinsettias to bring to her parents and congratulating her on winning the snowman contest. It’d been so long since a man showed any interest in her, she screwed up the whole interaction. She chalked it up to nerves and tried to forget about the entire incident. Then she saw him again at Theresa and Aiden’s New Year’s Eve party and managed to salvage her first horrible greeting with him. From there, they became friends.

He was handy with just about anything. She’d called him more times than not to fix this or that around the house. He was wonderful with her boys. Playing baseball and football with them in the summer. More times than their own father ever had. She liked having him around. Too much sometimes.

But if she indulged in even a moment of things progressing into more than friends, everything would fall apart. It always did. No relationship she had ever turned out in a happily ever after. Maybe that said something was wrong with her, not the guy. While she liked Cam—more than she should—she didn’t want to lose him from her life.

“What are you so afraid of?” Opal asked when Serenity never responded.

“Nothing. We’re friends. He has never given me any indication he’s wanted more with me.”

That was not a lie. He had never asked her out. Not once. There were times she swore he might. The way he looked at her. So focused and intense. Eyeing her lips like he wanted to lean in closer. Yet he never did. He never said, “Hey, let me take you out to dinner.” Heaven help her, she would’ve caved and said yes.

But since he hadn’t, she’d had time to fortify her resolve. If he asked, she’d deny him and they’d remain friends and all would be well in her world.

“That man looks at you like he wants to bone you so hard.”

Serenity snorted and shook her head. “Stop. He does not.”

“You look at him in the same way. Ask him to the party.”

“No.”

Opal grinned at her wickedly. “Okay, I’ll ask him then.”

“Why? It’s a family Christmas party. You know how crazy they get.” Serenity turned around from the sink. She’d been standing there with her hands sitting in the soapy water and not actually washing any dishes. She wasn’t fooling anyone, especially her sister.

“Consider it my Christmas present to you. I’m going to help you get that man in bed. Bone him hard. For me.”

Serenity couldn’t stop another snort, pressing her lips together to stop the smile that wanted to break free. “I’m not sleeping with him. And I hate Christmas presents, remember? Don’t get me anything.”

“It’s my Christmas goal this year. Deal with it. And when you’re done, I want all the details. All the dirty, juicy details. He is such a fine man.”

Another truth she couldn’t deny. He was more than fine. He was everything she always wanted in a guy.

If only she weren’t so afraid to open her heart one more time.

They had to remain friends. Nothing else was acceptable.

Copyright © 2022 Amanda Siegrist.

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